Welcome to our new website. I hope you like it. It’s been a few months in the organising and I can now breathe and say Phew! I don’t just like it, I love it! It was a HUGE decision to commission a new website but I am glad it’s here.
It’s up and running and looking lovely with it’s new blog. Sorry what did I just type? Blog, BLOG you say, who said I wanted it to have a BLOG?
So we’ve got a blog and here I am writing my first ever blog, which of course, brings up all sorts of automatic anxieties, such as, Will you like what you see on our blog? Will anyone read it? Can I commit to writing or commissioning new blogs regularly? Will I spot any spelling or grammar errors? Will I make sense and have anything helpful to offer?
But it’s a challenge. Oh no! I’ve started a sentence and not only a sentence but a paragraph in my first blog with ‘But’ and my school English teacher has just joined those negative messages in my mind. But (there I go again) I’m not deleting my ‘buts’ and starting again as I don’t want to, I quite like them and I am guessing a blog doesn’t need to be perfect.
First job is to understand and set those negative automatic thoughts aside and see them for what they are – not me, but an intrusion linked to the performance anxiety of a new phase of learning and nowhere near large enough to silence me, so let’s focus back onto the challenge.
Those of you that know me professionally will know that I, after the initial dread of feeling something new work related arriving and taking shape in my mind, like a new idea/’lightbulb moment’, love life-long learning and appreciate new professional challenges every now and again, despite the hard work and frustrations along the way, and that how CB Counsellor Training came to be and how it continues to grow in new directions.
Writing a blog has never been high on my bucket list or a ‘lightbulb moment’ and I don’t remember considering it for any length of time as a possibility, maybe something I might acknowledge that maybe I fleetingly considered and quickly discounted at some point, perhaps because other easier projects shut it down but I’m guessing the idea might have been stored in my unconscious and was, until prodded, ignored or unreachable.
Now thanks to Simon (our web designer) here I am writing a blog. Blimey! Simon gently introducing the idea of a blog to me, well, ok it was more like a blatant prod really. He just added the page and presenting it to me – all shiny and new, ready and eager to be used for something other than cake recipes and I have accepted the prod/motivation and resisted the urge to just delete it, ignore it and pretend it was never there and hope it goes back into my unconscious to reside and gather dust and cobwebs. No, not me, not this time or this challenge – I have decided to rise to the challenge of change and growth.
As counsellors we often work with themes of anxiety, perfection, challenge and change and encourage our clients to incorporate change, thinking and the learning of new skills into their lives so how could I not?
I worked out, some years ago, that perfect and perfection really don’t exist and their pursuit can cause masses of misery, anxiety and a sense of never being at peace with oneself and I decided to go with ‘good enough’ (I love Winnicott’s use of this phrase!) so I am going to embrace this new challenge and just do the best I can.
If the blog is liked and appreciated that will feel great and if it isn’t or no-one reads it so be it, I will aim to continue for my own growth and those of other contributors (anyone?? – just let me know if you have a counselling subject, vaguely linked to CPD and training, you’d like to blog about) and I will aim to remember that lack of comments and/or likes won’t be a reflection on me as a person, counsellor or trainer or attack my internal view of myself, as the blog is external to me and it’s just a blog. Comments will be external validation (or not!) and not the more important internal self-validation.
As counsellors we hold our clients within the therapeutic relationship and, as mentioned, we gently challenge them, over time, to use their determination and bravery to reach for change and growth. We help our clients, young and old, name their anxieties, work out their origins and negative effects and encourage them to embrace and work with their anxieties, harness them, reduce their power and work towards new ways of relating and moving through their lives. If our clients are brave and trusting enough to try new ideas/challenges then so am I and so blogging will be my new challenge.
I hope you can also harness your bravery and wish to learn and I wonder what your next professional challenge is?
What would you like to look back at during the 2020 Xmas break and think “Wow, I achieved that! I am a superstar!”? Will it be a blog or something bigger and more important?
Whilst I’ll be here blogging and working on some other light bulb moments/ideas whilst continuing the privilege of working with my clients, what will the end of 2019 and 2020 bring for you professionally or see you working on and can CB Counsellor Training help you achieve it?
Enjoy your next challenge and I look forward to hearing about them.
P.S Phew! Wrote my first blog, still here, still intact, the world didn’t collapse around me and my internal validation of myself feels intact so I’m off to come up with the second one someday soon, which once again won’t be perfect! Repeat with me “it will be good enough!”.